Friday, October 30, 2009

10 tips on how to be an idiot

In a previous post I ended it with: "Watch out idiots, Punishment is coming for you."

I decided to let the sensitive part of me write a post to help people be less of an idiot and avoid the less sensitive part of me having to come after them. So here's a few tips on how to be an idiot. Avoid these if you can.
  1. If you believe that people are cheating if they kill you, scam you, or do anything to you that you don't like, you're an idiot. If they're doing it, it's likely they're able to use a game function to do so.
  2. If you bleat about it in local, on the forums, or on a blog, you're an idiot.
  3. If you petition CCP to get the action reversed, you're an idiot.
  4. If you make it public that you tried getting the action reversed, you'll be laughed at, 'cause you're an idiot.
  5. If you want to get the game rules changed because you don't like how often you die from them, you're an idiot.
  6. If you blog, comment or write on the forums about how the rules should be changed so that you die less often, you're an idiot.
  7. If you come up with all kinds of elaborately detailed suggestions on how these changes can be made, you're an idiot.
  8. If other people try to teach you how to play the game according to the rules, but you ignore them because you decide that doing any of the above is a much better idea, then you're an idiot.
  9. If you teach other people that anything you say in relation to the above is correct and they agree with you, then you're all idiots.
  10. If you think any of these statements apply to you and you get upset - you're an idiot. (Go on, show us you're an idiot by complaining in the Comments section.)
Bonus tip:
  • If you think I'm an idiot for coming up with these tips, then you're an idiot. Don't prove it (see #10 above).
Hopefully you'll understand how to NOT be an idiot by taking note of all the tips above. Don't do any of the above, and you'll be fine. If you do any of the above and I see it, I'm going to laugh at you.

And probably do a blog post to point out your idiocy to everyone else.

You've been warned.


  1. How about the simpler version:

    "See Dick fly. See Dick die. See Dick cry. Don't be a Dick." :-)

  2. You're an angry little elf!

    (there is no fly safe... fly paranoid!)

  3. While I respect you, Alexia, at the risk of being an idiot, I do have to argue with #5:

    "If you want to get the game rules changed because you don't like them, you're an idiot."

    I agree that most people who cry "Change!" do it because they want the game to be easier so they die less. These are called Carebear posts. People like the unnamed blogger who is pushing for Non-PvP zones fall into this category.

    However, wanting a part of the game changed does not make you an idiot. Heck, the game is what it is now because someone along the way said "I don't like this.." and told CCP just that. Some have been good changes, some have been bad. But not all are bad and not all are changes that move in a negative, carebear-ish direction.

    An example is the Epic Mission Arcs. Someone complained that missions were too boring, uninteresting and unimmersive (By someone I mean everyone who has ever had to do a mission). CCP answered with Mission Arcs that made the game a little more interesting and immersive. I don't think it's fair to say that you are an idiot for wanting that change. The Sov changes in Dominion are another good example.

    I think my arguement comes down to wording. Saying you want rules changed because you don't like them wouldn't be the right way. Saying you want rules changed because you die too often, that is a little more idiotic =)

    All in good spirit,

  4. Sorry everyone, Erbo wins the comments thread on this one.

    I can see the tshirt now, a Thorax in flight, being attacked by 2 more Thorax cruisers and loosing the fight.

    "See Dick fly. See Dick die. See Dick cry. Don't be a Dick."

    Yeah, that would be awesome

  5. seconded with everything but 5 & 7.
    ccp look for feedback from their customers on how to make the game better.
    however if 5 & 7 pertain to changing the game to suit u and only u, then seconded once again!

  6. Thanks for the feedback. #5 was, in my head, related to #6. I edited it accordingly. #7 is in relation to #6 as well.

    I hope that helps with clarification?

  7. Sorcerers Apprentice thinks:

    I'd like to argue with #2.
    If by "bleat" you mean to cry about it, then I agree.
    But I think it's fair to warn others about a can-flipper/scammer/... in Local, don't you think?

    BTW: You need better selections for what name to post under. :)

  8. You can always select "Name/URL" and just leave your name without a URL...

    #2 is in relation to #1, particularly the part that says "If you believe people are cheating..."

    So if you warn others in local that there's a can flipper, that's fine. But if you whinge about how they're cheating, THAT is what #1 is talking about. Then you'd be an idiot.

    Come on people, is it really that hard to read these tips and see them in context to each other?

  9. It's easy to see them in context. It's just fun to poke your arguements =D


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