Friday, September 25, 2009

Carebears need to harden the fuck up

One of my pet hates are carebears. We're never going to get rid of them and I understand that, because new ones always come in as the old ones leave or grow out of it. But I can help the carebears grow out of it by revisiting something I wrote in a previous life. Some of you might remember this, while for others, it will be brand new. But for the carebears reading this, you might get something from it...
One thing I've noticed, all across the galaxy, is that people are having a whinge, having a sook, having a cry about it. If our ancestors were around today, I reckon they'd be spewing. Carebears need to harden the fuck up.

This is Daniel. He owns a big, shiny, fancy fucking battleship. But he doesn't know how to change his low slots to tank anything. Harden the fuck up, Daniel.

This is Petros, and he's too scared to enter lowsec. "Ohh, look at me, I'm combat intolerant." Why don't you try a gate camp and harden the fuck up, Petros.

This is Theresa. Her kitten has a psychiatrist because it cries every time a Hulk is attacked. How about this, Theresa. Dr Black Claw prescribes that you harden the fuck up!

This is Mark. He doesn't approve of people swearing on blogs. Well how about you harden the fuck up, Mark.

This is some fool with a stupid name I can't care to type. Learn how to come up with decent names, fool, and harden the fuck up.

This is Yellow Rose. She won't join in on fleet action without taking half a dozen smartbombs with her. Harden the fuck up, Yellow!

This is Jad. He spends an hour a day trading on the stock market. He's also a DJ at a local nightclub. So why don't you ha-ha-ha-harden the fuck up, Jad.

This is Bevat. He owns every Tech 2 ship you can buy, sleeps with his blasters, has over a thousand kills to his name, and once cut off his own arm for a dare. Fucking spot on Bevat!

So come on, carebears. Take your skirt off, cancel your manicure, grow a mustache, and harden the fuck up.

UPDATE: Here's the original video for you all, which is what inspired me to come up with this back in the day.


  1. If there is anything more pathetic than carebear tears, it is pirate tears! Come on, dry your eyes! Harden-the-fuck up yourself!

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  3. "So come on, carebears. Take your skirt off, cancel your manicure, grow a mustache, and harden the fuck up."

    It's fucking ridiculous that people don't understand what a FUCKING analogy is between WWII submarines and stealth technology.

    It is also just the same old bigotry here as that used against JEWS in WWII, black people in AMERICA and women in the 1920's who couldn't fucking vote in AMERICA.

    BUT NOW we get the same worn out BIGOTRY toward CARE-BEARS ... who are supposed to take their skirts off and "harden the fuck up."

    HELL, if there isn't anything more pathetic is the intolerant moron who insists that everyone live like them and BE LIKE THEM. AND IF NOT, their girls with skirts.

    AND GOD FORBID someone be a woman ... because a woman should stay home and have babies and shouldn't fly jet airplanes or even run a fucking corporation - because women are WEAK and men ARE SUPERIOR.

  4. Its obvious from the content of this blog the owner needs to go back to school and get an education. If you can't post a blog without swearing best not post at all.

  5. You poor uneducated dumbasses - anyone who is anyone knows the original Harden the Fuck up Sketch courtesy of Chopper...

  6. Congratulations Anonymous, glad to see someone can see the humour.

    I'm shocked and amazed by the lack of humour some of you carebears have. Or don't have, as the case may be. Particularly YOU, Dante Edmundo. You need to get over you bullshit and get into the fact that this is a game, and if you take this carebear stuff seriously and equate the above with anti-Semitism, racism, and sexism, then you need to HARDEN THE FUCK UP, you carebear.

    For the rest of you who have a sense of humour, I hope you enjoy it.

    There will be more. People like Dante only prove how enjoyable it is to wind the carebears up and drain their tears as much as we can. And they're so sweet, those tears...

  7. Perhaps a link to the original sketch in the post would alleviate some of these negative responses :)

  8. Alexia You are totally missing the point, Its got nothing to do with winding up carebears and all about your moral duty to keep the content of you blog at a standard that does not offend others. Its obvious even though it was meant as "Tongue in Cheek" it has caused offence.

  9. Meh, without industry types building the ship fly we would have nothing. We can agree to disagree on the need for the carebaers. I see a means to an end, rather than a failure.

    Good hunting none the less.

  10. Meh, BLOCKING the TROLL, who like most bigots - disguise their bigotry with patriotism.

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  12. "Its got nothing to do with winding up carebears and all about your moral duty to keep the content of you blog at a standard that does not offend others..."

    What. The. Frak?

    What about Alexia's moral right, this being her blog, to post anything she damn well wants here?

    There's free speech, Anonymous Coward, but there's no free lunch. You want controlled, inoffensive content, start your own blog and post whatever you think is "appropriate" here. Alexia runs this blog, she can say what she pleases here, and anyone who doesn't like that can take their "moral duty" complaints, fold them till they're all sharp corners, and shove them up their exhaust ports.

    (Forgive me, Alexia, for coming so stridently to your defense, but this just happens to be a subject that whacks one of my hot buttons.)

  13. Woohoo, go Erbo!

    Great post Alex. Have never heard of this original sketch but don't care, was funny anyway :)

    Anyone who takes offence to any of this is obviously a carebear anyway so who cares if they get upset.

  14. It's an offensive sketch toward care-bears by an offensive poster.

  15. I laughed with the post from the op, then laughed harder at the offended readers. It's a game, it's the internet. Really? Do you really take seriously flying virtual spaceships in space? Ignore the hyperbole. If there is anything that I hate it's how offended people quickly equate anything innocuous as fascist and genocidal.

  16. LOL, I love this. Alexia, you always rock. Thanks for sharing this. I love Chopper. I'm sad I missed the AU boat. :(

  17. Erbo, you're awesome. :)

    Dante, if you don't like it, don't read it. Don't expect the world (or blogs) to change because you want them to. You're probably one of those people that gets offended by something on TV, so you organise to get the show banned, rather than just turning the channel. You want the world to cater to your fragile sensitivities.

    I cater to no one's sensitivities. :)

    So I'd appreciate it if you stop reading this blog if it's going to offend you so much. There will be more. :)

  18. You go, Alexia!

    You sure don't need to worry about offending me; I read tons of blogs, some of them that make this one look like the Disney Channel. And though I may answer to the "carebear" title, I take your message as philosophically as I did the first time around.

    (I will say that going and playing in wormhole space is an excellent way to "harden the fuck up.")

  19. Dunno anything about the sketch on which this seems to be based, but I can say that the post definitely won't convince anyone (my general agreement with the basic sentiment notwithstanding).

  20. I've added the video to this post. Enjoy. :)

  21. I like being a carebear. If I harden the fuck up I won't be cuddly, and that makes me sad.

  22. @Le Sac

    That's only becuz the only way you can feel good about yourself is to make others feel bad.

    Perhaps if Alexia's first sentence of this offensive BLOG post hadn't been:

    "One of my pet hates are carebears." I might have believed the BS about it all being just a harmless parody.

    But you know what ... I guess I'm just not so naive nor do I depend on others tears to feel good about myself or find the pain of others as you say "nourishing". That alone is psychologically sad.

    Nor is hate integral to my sense of identity, although I've certainly been the victim of hate many a time, and I know what hate has done to other human beings throughout history. That's why I'm not going to accept for a nano-second you or Alexia's bullshit excuses especially with a BLOG that starts off with the word HATE.

    Alexia very much means that first sentence about hating carebears and anything else is just a huge ... I'll use her terminology "fucking" lie.

  23. AND PLEASE - Spare me the further BS about how it's all just a game and you're saying all this just for the fun of it.

    What I mean is: Harden the Fuck UP and don't hide behind the skirt of: "Oh it's just a game" Or else you're just as weak and useless as the very carebears you have posted you hate.

  24. oh, you don't want to hear that it's just a game, because you don't believe it is? Because you take it so seriously that any comment about 'carebears' is something you take personally, as if it's an attack against you personally?

    I think you need to stop playing. At the very least, stop reading this blog, or you're going to cry so much. And so often. I'm not going to stop doing what I enjoy just because you get offended, when you can simply stop reading.


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  27. No ... none of it is personal to me. Just offensive.

    But go on posting your hate of care bears. I'm sure it will garner you much respect among those players who really are care bears, just starting out learning the ropes of the game ... and are just trying to get better at it.

    And it may even get you the respect of other players like you who are intolerant of players starting out, or players who would rather relax for the evening and not worry about PvP or Null-sec or all the other "WE FEED OF YOUR TEARS" - players who feel that everyone should play like they do, or toughen up ... otherwise they just are inferior.

    Bleh why do I bother? You posted you hate care bears fine. Just don't back peddle and say it was all some joke.

    Don't expect me also to respect you for your intolerant ignorant opinion. Nobody is perfect and nobody should be expected to be perfect. I'm sure there are people who think the way you play is as bad as how you think a care bear plays.

    And besides, the whole care bear tag is a negative hit on many players who are good people and don't deserve the tag ... nor BLOG posts that denigrate them like yours.

    And you know ... if this weren't an MMO but say, we were all base ball players in a pofessional team, and you came out and denigrated players who play in right field, and told them to HARDEN THE FUCK up ... and then came back and said it was just a parody and its all a game ...

    I wonder how many base ball players would accept your bullshit?

  28. thank you for pointing out to me that 'hate' was probably a poor choice of words. 'Hate' has too much emotional investment in it, and I really don't have that amount of care about it.

    Maybe you could help me work out what would be more appropriate to describe how I might feel about these people who whinge about a game and demand that the game change around them, rather than just play it, and who whinge about anything that doesn't mesh with their delicate sensitivities.

    Could you help describe a more appropriate word?


  29. You know Alexia, probably the biggest surprise for me here is my own anger bordering on hate. Can you hate hatred?? Seems a bit of hypocricy to hate hatred.

    But so many have fallen victim to hate ya know?

    I'm ready to delete all the posts I created but in the spirit of authenticity and not hiding behind my "own skirt" I will let stand.

    My original reply used "fucking" only to drive home your own use of the word. And honestly: not everyone has seen this so-called skit/parody you apparently use as a template.

    I'm an American, one of the few Americans who received an education, in a country that is losing everything including quality education - in the name making a few Americans incredibly rich (1% of Americans now control more wealth than the 95% of Americans combined) - I have received an education, so don't watch the trash they call television here in America and rather spend my time doing other activities: such as reading (god forbid), writing such as a blog, and playing Eve Online.

    I apologize for my rawness and anger - I'm damned surprise again at myself. It's just not the way I am typically. Really.

    And I guess you're right on the money, I think the word "hate" is what catapulted me into my own "anger area". Maybe if you had sorta started off the blog post with just what you wrote: what the heck do you do with NOOBS that don't want to learn, and make life a bit more unfun for the rest of us - and then went on with your parody (making sure some of us who really don't watch this stuff) know it's one - I might have got your point better.

    It's your blog. God forbid I start telling you what to write and how to write it. I'm just giving you my reaction to what you wrote ... obviously pretty negative when I first read it.

    I'm sorry about that. It really doesn't make me look that good either getting so angry, and I've learned a lesson here myself.

    And you know what? The lesson is tolerance. As you get older, better, more skilled at anything ... including EvE Online ... you have to be tolerant of those that 1) just don't play as good as you or just haven't got it 2) that you disagree with in regards to content etc or actions.

    My coming off with such vitriol to what I perceived was your own vitriol is definitely not a productive approach. I should have disagreed with you in a more neutral, tolerant manner and let it go at that.

    Perhaps that's the best approach to NOOBS as well. Disagree in a mild and neutral manner and then get on with your more important EVE business: like running an Alliance or a Pirate group that's serious business and not NOOB territory at all.

    Cheers mate. UNBLOCK.

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  31. alexia, "thou protest too much", come on admit it, reading between the lines - Your a failed carebear and cant get over it. Get out of the closet, get it off your chest and tell the world and then take a chill pill girl.

  32. lolage at some of the comments here!

    great post!!

  33. Wow... whoever posted this is about as retarded as your average Counter-Strike / WOW player...I wish these kinds of retards would stay away from games like Eve....

  34. The rage here is hilarious. Grats on a fantastic post.

  35. P.S. Dante your pompus attitude is showing.

  36. Harden the FUCK up Carebear bloggers, this is what carebears do, they jump on shit to push forth thier Carebear shit eating coward agenda.

    So all you ANONYMOUS Carebear Mother Fucks, Go Fuck yourself, and Harden the fuck up.

  37. Dante is a classic example of why people work so hard to make sure carebears don't get onto the CSM :>

  38. Dante you are a moron. Go away and harass a small child about having a snotty nose because it OFFENDS YOU. You poor darling the world is such a mess from catering to the minority do gooders such as yourself. I think the term used to be "being politically correct" it has now spiralled into "never state the facts as they are and always cater for the lowest common denominator just incase you OFFEND somebodies sensibility, then they sue you! Were as Society should say as Alexia says 9 out of 10 think its OK 1 out of 10 is upset, guess what 1 out of 10 - Tough shit your the minority harden the fuck up - or pull your head in.

  39. Before you read the full post, a brief suggestion, if you didn't enjoy the originator, go and hang yourself from your ceiling light.

    So, anyway, I was thinking of the huge number of would be carebears out there in society, just waiting to spring their half-baked happytraps on the morally mal-adjusted folks of punishment. Specifically I was thinking of ways to reduce their populations.

    One good plague, alien cull, or zombie apocalypse... please god.

    Survival before programming you greeny socially supported stains.
    Oh, and if you read this the only good cow is the one on my fuckin dinner plate.

    Posted as anonymous due to me not being arsed to sign in.
    Cheers and burn well.


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