Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Blood on our hands

I was just reading the thoughts of Ciarente Roth, where she mentioned "Has the death of so many ever laid on the heads of so few-- and weighed there so lightly?"

It got me thinking. (Yes, I do occasionally think...)

A lot of pilots travel around seeking the deaths of others. But in their quest for adventure, they always refer to their defeated prey as individuals. They very rarely think about the dozens, hundreds or even thousands of people serving on the ships they destroy.

All of them with families, loved ones, people with lives outside of their jobs as crew members. They're not always there because of some idealistic view of the universe. They're certainly not there because they are immortal. They're there because they have mouths to feed back on their home planets. Because they have goals and aspirations. They want to amount to something, and that's what drives them to be a crew member of a starship.

But we don't discuss these things. Our elitism blinds us to the people whose lives depend on us. Our flippant attitude towards success or failure means nothing to us pilots, because if we die, we're reborn in a clone.

But our crews do not have that same fantastic luxury.

Not only do they die with the ships we so carelessly lose in our fights of vanity, but their families back home are left with no one to continue providing for them. The lives we shatter extend beyond our ships, and reach out across the planets and the stars throughout the galaxy.

In a past life I used to be a pirate with this same careless, selfish attitude. I feel differently now in this life. I feel like I have a responsibility to those who rest their hopes and dreams with me. They look up to me for their survival, and for the survival of their families, wherever they might be. They hope that I'm good enough to keep them alive. They bet their very lives on it.

Rest assured that these realisations won't stop me from fighting, but they will help guide me in my choices. I will fight for something meaningful, rather than vanity. I will fight for something worthwhile, and hope that the deaths of those who serve me will actually mean something. I will fight for the freedom of the Minmatar race from persecution and oppression, and hope that it's enough.

We, the chosen few, are the elite. Our lives can be eternal, should we wish it. We can choose to make our lives mean something, or we can simply show to the galaxy that we're only selfish children, playing with people's lives as if it's just a game.

This blood on my hands? It will remind me of the responsibilities I have to my crew, their families, and the Minmatar people whom I ultimately serve. I can only hope I do not let them down.

1 comment:

  1. The words you quote are those of Aria Jenneth, from her GalNet post

    I would hate to take credit for something I didn't write.


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