Monday, February 2, 2009

An interview with the Duckeye

I get to meet a few people here and there in my travels, and sometimes I enjoy interviewing them. It's amazing the things you learn about the people you meet when you ask them some deeply personal questions. The latest interview is with a fellow called Duckeye. He wanted to marry me. So of course I had to interview him to distract him!

Thanks for agreeing to the interview, Duckeye. But first, I'm curious - what do you want to achieve with being part of this?

Doesn't hurt to be as known as possible... the more known you are, the deeper you get rooted into the world of EVE.

Why do you want people to know of you?

One small step for duck, one huge detraction for mankind... no point in doing something unless you can be the champion in what you strive, best way to do that is to create your own criteria

Speaking of steps, why don't you tell us a bit about yourself and what steps you've been taking over the years.

Well hmm, lets seeeee... I joined Eve, thought it was fresh and new, played by myself in a nonsexual manner for about half a year just learning the game and getting up the ship ladder. I just killed things and treated it like an item and money collecting MMO like pretty much damn near everything else out there...

My first corp was just empty, second corp had an asshat for a ceo, third corp had potential and there was an elitist core that I enjoyed, although their CEO was an asshat as well (notice a trend?). The core kinda left and created their own corp which I was a part of for a good while, but they don't mingle in the racial channels like I do. But this is boring crap...

Oh, before the core left, one of their alliance mates let me use a freighter since I started fiddlin' with the trade system. I kinda accidentally stole it though... That freighter pretty much started what I have built up now, although I don't even really need it anymore... you'd be surprised at how easy it is to have your stuff moved when you post 74 x 120,000 m3 courier contracts at one time for a 1.5M isk reward for each contract, especially when what you paid them ends up only being 2% of the total profit you gain from selling the crap they move...

How do you 'accidentally steal' something?

I kinda put it somewhere, forgot I had it... then I told him that I gave it back. Things got confusing and everyone was getting violent and loud and I didn't have my puffer, so I decided to sit on the sidelines for awhile until the core of the corp I was in left, and I went with them...

Quit staring at me like that, I really forgot I had an 800M isk ship, I swear... hehe... By the way, you'll notice that I like dots...

Let's get back to something you said... Your puffer? But you're in a pod...

I don't roleplay very well... Last time I roleplayed I kinda blew up a friends 'geddon because it was yellow. I decided at that point it was wise to quit while I was ahead.

Ok, but that doesn't have anything to do with a puffer... umm.... Oh, forget it. So anyway, what would you say are some of your greatest achievements in the past?

A 21 billion isk wallet (not counting billions in material investment and asset owningeness) that I gained through safesec trade... Kinda nice gaining money in a legit way while sleeping or going to the movies... 7 billion isk a month profit is about average but I'm very lazy...

Not like I need the money anyway, I'm a rich guy sitting all alone in a docked officer fit 'phoon, spending all his time either hanging in public chats or killing people in creative ways because he doesn't play well with others... Well thats on duck anyway, I have about 10 alts that I use to have fun with... Things like creating a noob corp, recruiting 178 new players in a couple of weeks, then telling the entire corp that you're moving the corp to another region and would like to move everyones ships and items for them in one or two movements using your "shiny new freighter", and then stealing everything they all own before constantly killing them over and over until they quit or leave the corp... you know... fun stuff. It's not like I needed their stuff

And... how is that fun?

I dunno, first thing that popped into my head was:

Ok.... Well, thanks for that... So what goals do you have for your future?

I used to have a goal, trying to remember it... Think it was something along the line of creating one giant huge Empire corp under the protection of my own alliance tag that did not have any rules in any way and were free to kill whoever they wanted, even each other... I'd have to go through my notepad... it was something like that though.

Well, either that or becoming an adult diaperwear model... which is a bit more personal and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop touching my leg until after the interview.

Oh, you're no fun... anyway, they have adult diaperwear models??

In Japan they do. They also have vending machines that sell used Japanese schoolgirl panties... I kinda have a collection... anyway it's very possible for me to pull something like that off.

It's not hard for me to accumulate hundreds of new players in only a couple of weeks like I've said before, especially once CCP releases the game back in box form on physical shelves... a giant wave of wreckless anarchy would be fun in the world of Eve, especially when I can ride at the top of the wave.

...or maybe I should go back to wardeccing people. It's fun using alts to land on top of targets or pulling the old "sneak an alt into the enemy corp a couple weeks before the wardec so you can create drama and kill the corp from the inside as well as the outside" kind of griefing. It's pretty fun fraping a video of me self-destructing a CEO's personal carrier and then sending it to him from duck after the war is over because he thought that one of his "used to be corpmates until leaving on recent violent terms due to a misunderstanding that I had created" friends stole it instead...

Do you have any strong opinions on any of the changes that CCP has done or plans on doing?

It's the fear that makes people not want to go into lowsec or 0.0, the fear of whats on the other side of a gate. The concept of being required to travel through a public common meeting point in lawless space is a fundamental flaw.

This is a major reason why small unit operations aren't even practical anymore, it's getting to be more and more about chokepoints and the blob... all based on how systems are connected to one another and by how we travel.

And CCP knows this, thats why they have been releasing things like jump bridges, black ops, stealth bomber AOE's, giving transport ships the ability to jump, etc. etc... They are trying to make the world of Wve more fluid and less restricting, but these are just bandaids at best. Once an alliance can field 30 titans into one fight, things are in drastic need of a change.

Right now EVE is pretty much a seriously long string connecting thousands of bubbles to one another, you warp from one side of the bubble to the other and jump through, traveling through the string thats connected to another bubble... but in an ideal Eve world, at least in my mind, the string would be eliminated and all of the bubbles would be combined into one huge bubble... Jumping would be replaced by a new form of warping, and local would be replaced by a new version of the built in scanner we have now... No more static blindpoints, solo and small group tactics become more feasable...

Unfortunately CCP is having problems with how server information is being handled as it is and totally revolutionizing one of the fundamental aspects of EVE is never going to happen... But thats my only complaint. CCP hasn't solved their problem yet, but they are workin' on it and I just hope it comes soon.

So how long have you been playing Eve Online?

Damn near 3 years.

How do you make your money?

I basically look at porn while it rolls in... I also like to keep secrets...

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Alexia, you must come with us as we manhug and cry through the forest... it is our destiny, so that we may get in touch with our true man emotional manselves, we will walk through the forest and look at the treetops and cry as we play the drums... I think I may call you "Cloudchaser"... and Cloudchaser I think of you as a friend, may I touch you? Perhaps a backrub... or maybe I can fix you a Hot Pocket or a pan of brownies...

By the way, for the ladies...I'm a *UNKNOWN* year old duck lover, that dropped out of highschool and has never driven a car or held a job before, seeking a middle aged PVP goddess with an Irish-Ukrainian mixed heritage accompanied by a dominant melanocortin-1 receptor MC1R gene variant and doesn't have a life like myself...don't hesitate to send me something like...nude photos...or something over evemail, I'm a very lonely fella with a big wallet.

Ok... thanks for the interview duck... And to the rest of you, I'm sorry. Really. I hope you can find it in your hearts to one day forgive me.


  1. Duckeye isn't acting, let me tell you. This is him all the time. And I love him for it.

  2. It's true, Duckeye is always in Gallente chat causing mayhem, and he's tame there compared to other channels.

    And I love him for his madness too. <3

  3. I think we all never ever ever want to meet duckey in RL.

  4. Ummm...ewww. Just...eeeewwwwwwww.

    Selena is gettin' all William Shatner on his ass, sayin' he needs to "Get a life!"

  5. So, the most important question remains unanswered: "Is there going to be wedding, Alexia?"

  6. NO! There is not. Let that be an end to it!

  7. used to be in corp with ducky he is one crazy guy, he has a way of life that some can only dream of.

  8. There you go Duckeye, someone that might consider marrying you. ;)

  9. Duckeye is unique. Some would think he is mean but for some reason I know where his soft feathers are. =)

    <3 Duckeye

  10. To the person who said that Duckeye has a way of life - ..........I have known Duckeye for years and I can honestly say that Duckeye IS a way of life :)
    Love dots?....... - Hyphens too!

    Felix Lucius
    CRV Corporation - coming to a system near you !

  11. I don't think I've ever had so many 'anonymous' people commenting in a single post ever before... I bet it's actually Duckeye, pretending to be others. :)

  12. nope they are people from CRV we all love ducky he is a diamond in space a one in a million, ask almost any corpy and they will be able to list some of ducky's quote that random come out of the blue and really lighten up the moad

  13. That was disturbing.

    Seems to be walking a thin line between fun-loving eccentric and psychitic.

  14. FTW is really an acronym for Duckeye ... if you replace the D with a F, E with a T, and Win baby! WIN! \o/

    -Kand [CRV]

    PS: Dots and Hyphens "Duckeye"! (see its interchangeable)

  15. Oh sweet, guess I can unfavorite Ukrainian mail order bridges websites now... when is good for you Mynxee? I'm free this next thursday but my shows start at 8 in the afternoon so we are going to have to make the honeymoon quick, I was thinking we could go to the mall after lunch and I could let you try on some hats... just need to be sure that you bring some quarters so you can put them into the machine when your done.

    ...she said she was 18.

  16. Mail order bridges are new, they will finally give the adopt-a-highway people a run for their money.

  17. Duckeye, just have your people talk to my people. We'll work something out. *grin*

  18. Mhm. Love is in the air, tada tada tadada. :)

  19. Duck, you pawn so hard ^^,

  20. i believe the stuff he said about his real life self...doesn't surprise me
    also seems like an @$$

  21. I've been killing a lot of people so expect some negative things to be said here, should be fun.

  22. Duckeye is one of the most interesting and entertaining people I have met on Eve.

    I'm proud to call him my friend.

  23. Duckeye was the second person in EVE to ever pod me and the first red star I ever saw in local and it has made me into the player I am now. After 65 BILLION isk in kills I have thenked him for showing the dark side of eve....

    love you duck


  24. The first time I met Ducky was when this interview was posted, he is now my CEO, funny how a little duel and stripe tease can change a relationship. He is the funniest, smartest, most elusive and deviant people I know and I love him for it.

    Yes, I know stuff. No, I won't tell.

    Willa loves Ducky

  25. Duck is a dick, total dick.

  26. Duckeye, lets spill some secrets on Duckeye. He lives in a wheelchair and has no life. he is aone sick twisted human who brags about what he does to children. Should I or CCP ever catch him bragging about what he has done with and to children he will go prison, period.

    Enjoy your life in that wheelchair Duckeye, yo uhave nothing to live for anyway. Except Eve and that is a small, small comfort.

    Teryy Green

  27. Duckeye,
    You are an awesome mate - I am very glad to have known you for what, 3 years or so now? I can honestly say he is the whackiest and most bloody dangerous person to come into contact with.
    By the way mate, where the Hell is that freighter I lent you :P

  28. Terry, you're pathetic for believing the stories that you've heard.

    Thanks for all the comments guys, it's been over a year since the interview but I still appreciate it.


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